I Adore This Girl

First of all, I love how there's a world record for anything now. Highest stack of pots on your head! Longest time dancing the jitterbug in clown shoes! Mole most closely resembling W.C. Fields on left buttock! Amazing!

So anytime I see that someone's broken some zany record—and not just set a record in some goofyass new category they just invented for themselves, but actually broken an existing record in an existing goofyass category—I've got to read about it.

You can imagine my delight when I saw that a 9-year-old girl had broken the existing record for "Most snails on your face at once."

[Do not continue if pictures of snails will gross you out...]



I warned you, molluscophobes!

A nine-year-old Cheshire schoolgirl has broken the world record for having the most snails on her face at once.

Tiana Walton allowed 25 of the slimy creatures to cover her eyes, nose and mouth - beating the previous record of 15 held by Australian Liam Kenny.

Before her record breaking attempt, now in the Guinness Book of World Records, Tiana's previous personal best was just nine.

She had just one minute to put the snails on her face and then had to tip her head forward for 10 seconds. Any snails that fell off during that period were not counted.

Tiana said: "I am not squeamish. It is relaxing but it feels a bit cold. They are quite smelly and you can see their big long eyes."

Asked whether she thought her new record would be beaten, she added: "I don't think many people will be bothered about putting snails on their face!"

I'm going into snail-face training immediately! Forty snails or bust!