Truly, I Can't Imagine Why McCain Is Losing

Old flame cited as part of McCain's Latin experience:

Speaking at an Americas Conference panel discussion Friday on the next U.S. president's Latin American policy, McCain advisor Richard Fontaine started out by mentioning an old Brazilian flame of McCain's, who recently emerged in the press.

"Talking a little about his personal experience, he was famously born in Panama and has traveled all over the hemisphere for many years." Fontaine said. "In fact, I saw, I guess it was last week, that his old girlfriend in Brazil has been found from his early days when he was in the Navy and was interviewed. She's a somewhat older woman now than she was then, but it sorta speaks to the long experience he has had in the region -- in the most positive terms."

If making out with a Brazilian half a century ago qualifies as foreign policy experience, marrying a Brit must make me next in line to be Queen of England! Woot!

(By the way, I love how he has to note she's "somewhat older…than she was then." Really?! You mean women age? Fascinating!)

Asked afterward about whether he was suggesting that McCain's fling with a Latin hottie counted as Latin America foreign policy experience, Fontaine said: "The only thing I was trying to convey was that his experience goes back a long way," Fontaine said. "He was born in Panama, which illustrates a lifetime spent in Latin America."

Born in Panama = a lifetime spent in Latin America? Um, okay. And that makes sense how, exactly…?

"He has known a lot of people. The thing about the Brazilian girlfriend was in his first memoir, and it stuck in my brain. Look at the two candidates and contrast his extensive experience. That's the only point I was trying to make."

Good point. Can someone ask Obama if he's ever screwed around with an Asian?

You really can't make this stuff up.