It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like YEEEEAAARRRGGHHH

Fucking hell.

As most long-time readers know, one of my biggest pet peeves is the completely fabricated "War on Christmas." A big part of it is that it's one of my favorite holidays, and I fucking hate being told by douchebags that simply because I'm a progressive, I hate Christmas and want to see it destroyed. Douchebags like Bill O'Reilly. Which leads to my next reason for loathing this hollow lie; it could not be more obvious that O'Reilly created the WoC out of mistletoe dreams and reindeer farts simply to sell more shit from his website.
No time of the year is more merry for Bill O’Reilly than the “Christmas season,” because he can then go to war with his nemeses, the so-called “secular progressives.” Last year, he kicked off the season on Nov. 9, with a story on a decision by the Fort Collins, Colorado City Council to forgo traditional Christmas decorations. Though he hasn’t found his first outrage of the year yet, he’s getting ready.
Case in point: It's a few fucking days after Halloween, so O'Reilly has to wave his Kringle in our faces and claim that somehow the WoC has already begun, even though no one's thinking about this shit other than him. And what's his big idea this year, you ask? He's breaking out the big guns, folks. A sticker. Great horny toads, we're toast; how will we ever stop Christmas when faced with this?



And how do you get one of these fucking ugly cheerful signs of the season, you ask? Why, spend money on Bill's website, of course!

For the past two nights, O’Reilly has been offering bumper stickers reading “We Say Merry Christmas” to anyone who orders his book off his website:
Yes, in order to get one of these fifty cent stickers (And by the way, who wants a Christmas sticker on their car year round? And who, for the luvva Maude, is we?), you have to spend twenty dollars or more. There is not enough muscle in my skull to roll my eyes as much as I want to right now.

"We say Merry Christmas." Jebus. Hey Bill, I say "Go fuck yourself sideways, you greedy, moneygrubbing douchetacular fuckneck."

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