News from Shakes Manor

Emailing with Mama Shakes Edition

Important Background: Mama Shakes and I, while both being blubmeister generals who have to, for example, watch the final episode of The Office (UK) with a box of tissues between us, are overtly hostile to forced sentimentality. Very Special Episodes, Sweethearts' Day, cloyingly adorable expressions of affection…they all evoke the snark big time, and the worst of all are precious emails—"A digital rose for a wonderful woman"—especially the chain letter ones that end with a threat—"…now forward this to 10 other lovely ladies you know or DIE WITHIN 30 DAYS!!!"

Anyway, we got into the habit of emailing these to each other ironically, and then we started emailing each other any dumbass forwards we got, especially ones with "hilarious" sexist jokes and cartoons, with intros like "This is the best email forward you'll ever receive!" We also send each other good email forwards, too, like the one I sent her of a guy wearing see-through plastic pants and crapping himself, which is a classic. But the best are the ones we send touting their brilliance because they suck so hard.

So, yesterday, I got a link from her, which she had introduced with "HEE-larious!" so I knew it would be good. I click through, and it's "11 Funny Christmas Cartoons" compiled by Readers Digest, and you know they're going to be awesome, because "clean-jokes-and-laughs" is right in the URL.

Of course every last one of them is truly, astoundingly awful. I emailed Mama Shakes, "Each was more horrible than the next. You'd think at least one of them would have been accidentally funny, but...nope!"

Mama Shakes: The one with the squirrels and the nutcracker brought half a smile to my face.

Liss: You have a sickness.

Mama Shakes: DO NOT! I just happen to like nutcrackers.

Liss: That's what she said.

Mama Shakes: That clip totally cracked me up. I don't watch the Amer. Office nearly enough. I guess I'm not up for it…and that's what he said.