Kate Hudson, You Are Still Getting on My Last Good Nerve

Exhibit A: Bride Wars

Exhibit B: "I've made a conscious decision to try to stay single as long as possible."

Exhibit C: You have got to be fucking kidding me.

On the importance of keeping her man happy: "People think that you can put your sexual life on hold, but you have to find time for it. Without that relationship, our family is broken. My mom really implanted that in me when I was pregnant."

I eagerly await for Kate Hudson's upcoming relationship guide co-written with Dennis Prager: Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Planet Make-Time-and-Put-a-Smile-on-Your-Goddamned-Face.

If this: "Without that relationship, our family is broken."—is in accurate statement about your relationship, it's broken already. There are likely going to be times when at least one person in a relationship doesn't want to have sex because of stress, exhaustion, grief, emotional or physical trauma, or just being in a weird-ass headspace with the relationship or with sex generally. There may be times when at least one person in a relationship is physically unable to have sex, because of natural changes in the body, disease, or illness. If the foundation of an entire family is built on a sexual relationship that can never be put on hold for any reason, that's a family in crisis right from the get-go.

And there's something particularly horrid to me about the suggestion that a new mother should ensure she makes time to screw her husband, lest she "break" not just their relationship, but their family.

Double the horror that the exhortation is delivered, as ever, via a(n allegedly) sexually liberated modern woman, a role model to young women, her presumed progressiveness implicit in her fashion-forwardness, her ubiquity, her popularity, her success, her dynamism. She's free and her mind is free, we are meant to think, as she tosses her hair. Surely it couldn't be that such an icon of youth and modernity would deliver the same old patriarchal messages that women must, above all else, sexually service their male partners...!

Sigh.

It's kind of amazing to me that Kate Hudson and Dane Cook haven't hooked up and spawned the Antichrist yet.