We're Not Feeling Her Pain

As you may have heard, John Travolta's and Kelly Preston's 16-year-old son, Jett, died over the weekend as a result of what appears to be a blow to the head received in the throes of a seizure.

This post isn't about the family, the circumstances of the death, Kawasaki disease vs. autism, Scientology, or conspiracy theories (and the comments thread shouldn't be, either)—so let's just leave all that mess aside.

What this post is about is something I've noticed about the coverage of the tragic event:

TMZ: John Travolta's Son Dies—"Rand Memorial Hospital in the Bahamas tells TMZ the son of John Travolta died today. We're told 16-year-old Jett was vacationing with Travolta and wife Kelly Preston."

AFP: John Travolta's teenage son dies in Bahamas—"The family of Oscar-nominated Hollywood superstar John Travolta took a devastating emotional blow when his teenage son died after a seizure while on a family vacation in the Bahamas, US media reported."

AP: John Travolta's 16-year-old son dies in Bahamas—"John Travolta's teenage son, Jett, died in the Bahamas after apparently suffering a seizure and hitting his head at his family's vacation home, authorities said Friday."

Reuters: Travolta "heartbroken" over son's death—"Actor John Travolta broke a two-day silence over the death of his 16-year-old son Jett on Sunday, saying he and his wife, actress Kelly Preston, were 'heartbroken' by their sudden loss."

ABC: Autopsy Today for John Travolta's Son—"On Sunday, John Travolta and his wife, Kelly Preston, issued their first public statement since Jett died Friday."

This one, care of Star magazine, really sums it up:


Headline: John Travolta's Son Dies
Image: Entire family.
Lede: "The son of John Travolta and Kelly Preston has died."

What?—there wasn't enough room for Kelly Preston's name in the headline, too? Oh, wait; there is:


Huh.

And this one, from the Daily Mail is great: 'My agony at losing my beloved boy': 'Heartbroken' John Travolta breaks silence over death of teenage son (original story headline since changed: "Tragedy for movie star John Travolta as 16-year-old son Jett dies on family holiday")—"John Travolta tonight revealed his agony at the sudden death of his teenage son Jett. In a statement on his website the Hollywood actor said he and his wife Kelly Preston, were 'heartbroken' by their sudden loss."

Wait—his wife is heartbroken, too? Amazing. Especially considering she's not just John Travolta's wife, but is Jett Travolta's mother, not that you'd know it from the news coverage of her son's death, in which she is repeatedly referred to (if at all) as "John Travolta's wife." I saw that in headlines and ledes so frequently over the past few days, I actually started to second-guess my thought that she was Jett's mom. (She is.)

And Kelly Preston is also pretty famous in her own right. (I know I'm kind of a walking IMDb, but I could name at least half a dozen of her films off the top of my head.) It's not like John Travolta is married to an investment banker; he's married to an actress whose name plenty of people would recognize, so the calculation seems to be she's just not famous enough to warrant her name in the headline, to warrant her grief being its own, beyond some collateral heartbreak of her husband's after losing "his" son.

It's rare I actually compliment CNN on sensitive coverage, but they got this one right: Actors' son Jett Travolta dies at 16—"The 16-year-old son of actors John Travolta and Kelly Preston died Friday morning after suffering a seizure while vacationing with his family in the Bahamas, Travolta's attorney told CNN."

Just moving that apostrophe from here—actor's—to here—actors'—makes all the difference. That's all it took, so simple, to avoid disappearing a mother and delivering a snide commentary on her career in the midst of a horrific personal crisis.

I'm sure some people would argue it doesn't matter—but I can think of few things more cruel than erasing the role of motherhood from a woman who's just lost her child, and I'm not sure it does any of us much good that we're so profoundly inured to such casual cruelty.

So…a little teaspoon of awareness never hurt anyone.