Now Will Everybody Leave Jessica Simpson Alone?

The fat-shamers have gotten their wish! Jessica Simpson--the singer/actress who had the temerity to drop her daily two-hour workouts and, you know, actually eat something--is going on a diet. According to OK! Magazine, Simpson has vowed to "get her bikini body back," by "cutting back on her favorite finger foods" and returning to her previous workout routine. Her purported goal is to lose 20 pounds in eight weeks. Because everybody knows that disgusting, size-10 lardasses like Simpson (see below) don't deserve to wear bikinis. Or eat.