Another Spoonful of Stupid

I've avoided writing about this for a while because A) I am lazy, and 2) I was waiting for this story to be debunked as a hoax. Clearly, this idea is so asinine, no one could be so stupid as to actually try this. Right? Because you'd have to be a right real fuckin' moron to get so pissed off about kosher salt that you'd try to market an alternative "Christian salt." But that's exactly what some douchebag is attempting.

Joe Godlewski says he was inspired by television chefs who repeatedly recommended kosher salt in recipes.

"I said, 'What the heck's the matter with Christian salt?'"

Newsflash, Godlewski: Putting kosher salt in your food doesn't make it more Jewish (and therefore, by extension, less Christian), it just makes it more salty. And this world has no need for a Christian alternative to kosher salt, the same way the world has no need for a Christian alternative to pop music. In fact, if that pop music analogy is any measure, your salt is gonna suck ass. Fortunately for you, it's pretty hard to fuck up salt.

Explaining himself, Godlewski said "This is about keeping Christianity in front of the public so that it doesn't die." Yeah, because you hardly ever hear about Christians anymore. Christianity is like the Jordache of religions, gone the way of the Triceratops (but not because of evolution, mind you).

If this this Christian salt thing takes off, Godlewski plans to branch out to other items, including "rye bread, bagels and pickles."

(Via Pam's House Blend, a couple weeks ago.)