Five Domestic Abuse Myths

Shaker InfamousQBert (who hat tips Feministing) sent me this (shockingly) good Newsweek article by Raina Kelley about domestic abuse myths, specifically framed around "Five mistakes we make when we talk about Rihanna and Chris Brown's relationship." I was particularly pleased with Kelley's takedown of the evo-psych bullshit that women are genetically disposed to return to abusive relationships.

One thing I'd like to note with regard to the myth of provocation, and the issue of victim-blaming, is that they can really only flourish in the absence of any discussion of the institutional misogyny inherent to a patriarchal system. Brown's cousin, Phylicia Thompson, is quoted in the article saying, "Chris was not brought up to beat on a woman. So it had to be something to provoke him for Chris to do it," the clear implication being that Rihanna provoked him.

The typical counter to this is that no one can provoke domestic violence, which may successfully shut down the conversation but doesn't sufficiently address the ubiquitous need to find a reason for why a heretofore nonviolent man would "inexplicably" become violent.

I don't doubt Thompson's assessment that Brown "was not brought up [by his family] to beat on a woman," but he was nonetheless brought up in a culture that tacitly condones domestic violence in myriad ways, starting with the routine dehumanization of women and treating images and incidents of their victimization as entertainment and humorous news-fodder.

We're all socialized in that madness, and we need to talk about that, and how that corrupts men, in order for us to ever stop looking at men's victims as the source of their provocation.

Related: Tigtog's must-read Rape myths, rape myth acceptance, and community perceptions of victims of sexual violence.