News from Shakes Manor

When I need or want to buy something, I will research the item, evaluate and compare brands and retailers, read professional and user reviews, search for second-hand buying options, look for the lowest price of the most suitable option, and then wait as long as possible to make the purchase, trying to find better deals while thinking long and hard about whether I really need or want the item. By the end of this procurement process, it frequently turns out I neither need nor want the item, and whatever desire I had for it was satiated merely by thinking about it for a few days.

When Iain needs or wants to buy something— No, let me rephrase that. Iain never wants anything; he always needs everything. And he needs it right now!!!1! He finds it, stumbles across a fancier version and decides he can't settle for anything less, concludes that the most expensive option is obviously the best option ('cuz why else would they be charging so much if they weren't the best? duh!), and compulsively buys it 10 minutes before the first doubts about the wisdom of the purchase begin to enter his consciousness.

This is why we share an eBay account and I manage it.

It's not like Iain couldn't set up his own account, but he knows himself. So he just horns in on mine instead, and puts on the watch list all the stuff he needs!!!1!, most of which is stupid bullshit that he wants me to talk him out of wanting, and some of which are practical items on which I eventually find better deals, because I will spend enormous amounts of time to save $5.

And sometimes it's just stuff to make me laugh.


[Phone rings.]

Liss: Hello?

Iain: Hi, tschoobs.

Liss: Hi, babesy. How's your day going?

Iain: I canny complain. Any excitement yoor way?

Liss: Nope. I see you've got your eye on a suspender posing strap with ring.

Iain: [laughs maniacally]

Liss: [laughs maniacally]


Iain: That fing is awesoome!

Liss: I'm getting you all twelve that are available.

Iain: Superb.

Liss: You're gonna look SEXY HOT!

Iain: Ye ken I am, nushtels!

[More maniacal laughter.]

I love that guy.