Wearing Fur While Female

Oh, PETA. There was a time when I wanted to sympathize with you--really, there was--but between the nekkid-lady beauty contests and the hiring strippers ("the girls of Rick's cabaret") as spokesmodels, I just can't. You argue that people shouldn't eat meat--by treating women like meat. And even when you're not portraying women as pigs (possibly NSFW) or putting them in cages or just randomly parading them naked for male titillation, you still manage to get in a sexist barb or two.

I'm talking, this time, about your annual "Worst-Dressed Awards"--an opportunity to shame female celebrities for failing to meet impossible standards of youth and beauty (and, oh yeah, for wearing fur). In fairness, there is one fur-wearing men--Kanye West, whose "quirky suits" you "like"--on your list, but your ageist, sexist and downright disturbing treatment is reserved for fur-wearing females like Madonna ("We know that she's on the prowl for a young cub, but someone needs to tell Madge that wearing fur doesn't make you a cougar"), Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson ("maybe Mary-Kate and Ashley think their matronly wardrobe will deflect the gossip about bulimia"), Maggie Gyllenhaal ("Maggot," in PETA's breathtakingly clever parlance) and Elizabeth Hurley ("desperate"... a "faded siren"). Apparently, wearing fur is bad for everyone--but wearing fur while female justifies the most venomous, over-the-top misogynist mockery.