Babies! Babies! Get'cher Babies Right Here!

by Shaker Siobhan, who is thrilled to contribute to her very favoritest blog.

Yesterday the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform approved a bill for paid parental leave for Federal Employees—4 weeks leave following the birth, adoption or fostering of a child. This move means the US might just leave the company of Lesotho, Swaziland, and Papua New Guinea (the only other countries in the world without parental leave for their government employees) and join the rest of the world. If it manages to pass the House and Senate.

The GOP, the same party that brought you welfare queens, homeless people who wanted to be homeless, and reproductive-choice activists teaching our toddlers how to have sex, are now offering us—wait for it—

Federal workers stocking up on babies to accumulate paid leave.

Yup, you heard me right.

Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA) has found the loophole in the law.

Issa is concerned that federal employees could adopt children year after year after year, all the while collecting those four weeks of paid annual leave.

Workers "could have one adoption or one foster child per year, resulting in every year you get a new foster child, every year the husband and wife if they are both federal workers would take four weeks off with pay, because they have simply taken in a new foster child," he said before the vote.

Because it's just so damn easy to have/find babies. They require so little investment, so little time and effort to care for, not to mention that having/obtaining them is a pain- and hassle-free process. Who WOULDN'T just grab themselves a new baby at every opportunity in exchange for a month off of work!

Possibly the reason Republicans don't support paid family leave is because, without it, the wimmenz can't as easily come back to work after having/adopting babies—and, when they do come back, they might do crazy things like introduce Paid Federal Family Leave Bills, as did Rep. Carolyn B. Maloney (D-N.Y.):

"I had a child when I worked for the state government, and I was terrified I'd be fired," Maloney said before the vote... "No federal employee who's a new parent should be forced to choose between their paycheck and their newborn -- or newly adopted -- child in those vital first few weeks home," Maloney said. "As the nation's largest employer, the federal government can -- and should -- lead the way on this issue."

Awesomely, the rest of the "protect family values" party besides Issa is silent:

Republicans had nothing at all to say about the measure, leaving it to their leader to play the Scrooge who uses money as a hammer against the family value of mothers and fathers staying home with their newborns or newly adopted children.

Where, oh where is the GOP PR Machine of yesteryear? Maybe they would have prevented one of their "leaders" for coming out with this ridonkulousness during NATIONAL FOSTER CARE MONTH. But Rep. Danny K. Davis (D-IL) knows what month it is:

"I would be delighted if federal workers or any other workers…adopted one of these children every year... As a matter of fact, I'd give them a Medal of Honor if every year they found that they could adopt another child, because there is a tremendous need for children to be adopted."

Hear hear. And if they do, they'll have a job to come back to.