Sean Hannity, Wanker of the Day the Decade

1. In April, Sean Hannity, eager to lick Cheney's boots and desperate to excuse Bush Torture Tactics, insists that waterboarding isn't torture. Blowhard that he is, he volunteers to be waterboarded "for charity."

2. Keith Olbermann is all over it like a bad suit, and offers a charitable contribution of $1000 for every second Hannity withstands waterboarding (since it's not torture, after all).

3. Hannity mysteriously shuts the fuck up about waterboarding for a month. Who knew? Even Jesse Ventura makes Hannity look like an ass.


4. "Conservative Libertarian" (snort) and professional douche Erich "Mancow" Muller undergoes waterboarding to "prove it isn't torture." He lasts 6 to 7 seconds before cracking, states waterboarding is "absolutely torture."

5. I grudgingly give "Mancow" respect for putting his money where his mouth is, and for admitting he was wrong. I really don't like the guy, but good on him.

6. Olbermann rescinds his offer to Hannity (since we all know that chickenshit blowhard wouldn't actually volunteer to be waterboarded even if his hair was on fire), and instead offers his contribution to "Mancow."

Last night on Countdown, Olbermann announced that he was rescinding the offer to Hannity, and instead giving $10,000 to charity following radio host Erich “Mancow” Muller’s waterboarding attempt. Olbermann promised to donate to the charity Veterans of Valor, founded by Sgt. Klay South, who administered the waterboarding to Muller. Olbermann revealed that Mancow’s publicist had contacted Olbermann’s show yesterday to see whether Olbermann would make a similar offer to Mancow as he did for Hannity

7. "Mancow" goes on Olbermann's show to describe the ordeal. He states that he's been suffering the aftereffects for two days.

Yesterday, MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann interviewed Mancow about his experience under the bucket. “I would have said anything to make it stop,” Mancow said, further confirming that torture does not produce reliable intelligence. “I don’t think drowning is harsh enough. … This is worse. This isn’t gulping for air. This is your brain is shut off.”

And here's the kicker:

8. Hannity calls "Mancow," the man who actually went through the waterboarding, and is still suffering and insists it isn't torture.

Did you get that?

Fucking Sean Hannity was too cowardly to go through something he insists isn't a torture tactic, and has the chutzpah to tell someone that did that they weren't tortured.

And "Mancow" still calls him "a friend."

What the fuck is wrong with these people?