Still Talking

Former Vice President and current fuckneck Dick Cheney is still offering hawt advice to the party he spent eight years running into the ground:

"This is about fundamental beliefs and values and ideas … what the role of government should be in our society, and our commitment to the Constitution and constitutional principles," Cheney said in an interview with North Dakota radio host Scott Hennen Thursday, according to a transcript.

Ooh, North Dakota radio host Scott Hennen?! Cheney's really mingling with the movers and shakers these days! Tell us more, Admiral Assbar. *puts chin in hands and waits to be wowed*

"You know, when you add all those things up, the idea that we ought to moderate basically means we ought to fundamentally change our philosophy," Cheney also said. "I for one am not prepared to do that, and I think most of us aren't. Most Republicans have a pretty good idea of values, and aren't eager to have someone come along and say, 'Well, the only way you can win is if you start to act more like a Democrat'."

Genius. I totally agree, Lieutenant Loserton. That's exactly the same advice I'd give to the Republicans—don't moderate; stand your ground! The moral lowground does make a nice vacation spot but many of us, but you really own it, and you should defend that shit with your every last collective breath.

In fact, not only should you not moderate, but you should move even further right. Just go for broke, you crazy kids. Make Uncle Dick the happiest fuckneck on the planet!