Wolverine Open Thread

Hello there, handsome.
So, here's the thing about Wolverine—he, especially as played by Mr. Hugh Jackman, has the distinction of being the only male character in the Marvel universe who presents me with an unresolvable conundrum: I cannot decide whether I most want to be Wolverine, or fuck Wolverine.

What is always certain is that I will see any film featuring Wolverine, and so this weekend, Iain and I, with our pal KennyBlogginz, headed off to the theater to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

[SPOILER WARNING]

It has the usual problems, and there's some dialogue so clichéd it was embarrassing even to listen to, and, as always, there are too many mutants so some are wasted/underutilized (*cough* Gambit *cough*). But overall it's a fun film, and there's some stuff about it I really liked, starting with the opening titles, which followed Wolverine and Sabretooth fighting in nearly every American war and were dead cool. And I creamed myself three times [/Twinkletoes] when Wolverine ran the gauntlet to free the caged mutants from their cells. HAWT.

I also really dug Professor X's cameo, and the subtle de-aging of Patrick Stewart, even though it nearly made me exclaim, "That's some Benjamin Buttons shit!"

On the silly side, KennyBlogginz and I couldn't stop giggling at Stryker's commands to Deadpool, which were cheesily amusing. Earlier today, I texted K-Blogz:

> DECAPITATE
—which we both naturally found totally hilarious. I also told him I was busily typing one-handed V.C. Andrews-esque slash-fic about Wolverine and Sabretooth, which he immediately dubbed "Sideburns in the Attic."

And casting Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool pretty much ensures I will forever refer to the character from here on out as Douchepool. Just sayin'.

So, in conclusion to this rambling bullshit pseudo-review, lol, I say: If you like this sorta shit, and you're looking for two hours of mindless fun at the movies, you won't feel like you wasted your money on X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

The End.