Seattle Times FAIL

Here's a predictable tale of woe for you: Last weekend, four men decided to hire three prostitutes from Craigslist. But instead of doing the jobs they were hired to do, the three women made off with about $400.

Why did the Seattle Times decide this story (whose comments thread, btw, will make you cry) was newsworthy? Because the men reported the women were "chunky"—and as everybody knows, fat women—especially fat HOOKER women—are HILARIOUS:

Mountlake Terrace police are on the lookout for a trio of escorts who are alleged to have stolen about $440 from four customers who had invited them over for a weekend party. ... When the woman and two female friends arrived, the men later told police, they found that none of them looked like the woman in the ad. The women were described vaguely to police as being "larger and thicker" than the female pictured in the Craigslist ad.

"The men said they were not as advertised," said Hansen.

Nevertheless, the disappointed men -- who ranged in ages from 22 to 46 -- handed over their money while the women were still at the door, police said.

To translate: Women: Defective products. Men: Disappointed consumers. Got it.

Then there is a paragraph about how the women stole the men's money. Then, this:

The suspects were all described as being about 5-feet-8, white and "chunky," in their late 20s, possibly from Tacoma. One had curly, wavy brown hair and called everyone "baby," the men told police. The second had lip piercings and stringy brown hair. The third had short, sandy blond hair, according to police.

While trying to describe the suspects to police, the men decided to rate the women on a scale of 1 to 10. Three said the women all rated a "2." But the man described by police as the most intoxicated disagreed and claimed they rated a "4."

I can't wait for the follow-up by reporter Clarissa Claridge, in which she examines the reasons women become Craigslist escorts, what punishment the four men received for soliciting prostitutes (which is illegal in Seattle), and how the three escorts rate their male "customers" on a scale of one to 10.