Assvertising

[Straight couple are walking down the street after a date and arrive at woman's house. They stand on the stoop to talk. Curiously, tree leaves block the man's face, and then he turns his back, so his face is never visible.]

Woman: Well, I'm not gonna lie—this was a nightmare. You made me pay for dinner, you told me my political views were "cute," and, uh, thanks for the flowers. [holds up raggedy, wilty flowers] By the way, it's Lily, not Lucy. [looks as though she's about to tell him to get lost, then glances at his suit and reconsiders; her face breaks into a smile] Do you wanna come up for a nightcap? [inviting grin]

Voiceover: [over image of suit on headless mannequin] You get what you're suited for. Get suited at Syms for forty to sixty percent off today's retail prices. With top-brand suits starting at ninety-nine dollars.

Does this even need any commentary? Criminy.

[Via Margaret. Assvertising: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Twenty-One, Twenty-Two, Twenty-Three, Twenty-Four, Twenty-Five, Twenty-Six, Twenty-Seven, Twenty-Eight, Twenty-Nine, Thirty, Thirty-One, Thirty-Two, Thirty-Three, Thirty-Four, Thirty-Five, Thirty-Six, Thirty-Seven, Thirty-Eight, Thirty-Nine, Forty, Forty-One, Forty-Two, Forty-Three, Forty-Four, Forty-Five, Forty-Six, Forty-Seven, Forty-Eight, Forty-Nine, Fifty, Fifty-One, Fifty-Two, Fifty-Three, Fifty-Four, Fifty-Five, Fifty-Six, Fifty-Seven, Fifty-Eight, Fifty-Nine, Sixty, Sixty-One, Sixty-Two, Sixty-Three, Sixty-Four, Sixty-Five, Sixty-Six, Sixty-Seven, Sixty-Eight, Sixty-Nine, Seventy, Seventy-One, Seventy-Two, Seventy-Three, Seventy-Four, Seventy-Five, Seventy-Six, Seventy-Seven.]