Rape Is Hilarious, Part 43

Or: "I Can't Believe the SHIT I've Got to Sit Through Just to See Lady GaGa."

[Trigger warning.]

So, Saturday night, we're watching SNL, because I weirdly love Lady GaGa (and one day hope to have a beer with her and explain to her what feminism actually is so she can understand she is a feminist; btw, her second performance was amazing). Anyway, we're only half paying attention, because: A. It's SNL; and B. It's SNL hosted by megadouche Ryan Reynolds; and even only half paying attention, we notice that the entire show (which is viewable here, or individual skits here) is like a giant rapejokefest.

There was a long skit of a 1981 episode of the Family Feud pitting the Osmonds against the Phillips clan, with high-larious! jokes like John Phillips offering "Secrets!" as his answer to "Things You Keep for a Long Time," and an advert for Celebrity Press Your Luck with Roman Polanski.

There was also a skit of a Court TV show called "So You Committed a Crime...and You Think You Can Dance?" in which convicts were paired with professional dancers for a competition reality show. And, naturally, the first convict was a sex offender who was being creepy with his dance partner. Ha ha! The threat of rape is so damn funny, amirite?!

The SNL Digital Short featured Andy Samburg doing a number about throwing things on the ground, which was funny as hell—until the last part where he is thrown on the ground and repeatedly tasered. But not just anywhere: He is repeatedly tasered in the asshole. By Ryan Reynolds and Elijah Wood. Who both apparently thought that was hilarious.

And during the Weekend Update, Darrell Hammond did a bit as Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, saying that Roman Polanski should not be afforded special dispensation just because he's famous. Now, of course, Schwarzenegger himself has been accused of sexual harassment and being a, ahem, "womanizer," especially back in the 1970s, which is referenced in the skit with this side-splitting commentary:

I was around in the seventies. I also had the sex with the ladies. There was the grabbing and the groping of the hams and the glutes and all of these body parts. These were not thirteen-year-old girls! And I did not give these ladies the champagne or the quaaludes! I did not have to! I would just flex my muscles! [flexes right arm] This was my champagne! [flexes left arm] This was my quaaludes!

Oh my aching sides.

That's just what I noticed/recall.

SNL is, on any given week, rife with misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, racism, fat hatred, disablism, and other bigotries, about all of which I've written before. But I've never seen an episode so egregiously rapetastic.

Contact NBC and ask them why they support the minimization of the severity of rape and mockery of rape victims. And before anyone says, "Well, SNL sucks, whaddaya expect?" let me go ahead and give you a preemptive answer: I expect more.

[Rape is Hilarious: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Twenty-One, Twenty-Two, Twenty-Three, Twenty-Four, Twenty-Five, Twenty-Six, Twenty-Seven, Twenty-Eight, Twenty-Nine, Thirty, Thirty-One, Thirty-Two, Thirty-Three, Thirty-Four, Thirty-Five, Thirty-Six, Thirty-Seven, Thirty-Eight, Thirty-Nine, Forty, Forty-One, Forty Two.]