Poor Glenn Beck (not really)

At $20 per ticket, Glenn thought he could get all of his fans and 9/12'ers to buy him a new condo by rallying to the movie theaters to see the film adaptation (i.e. a stage performance with one actor) of his book The Christmas Sweater - A Return To Redemption. It looks like most people have better things to spend their money on:

In New York, Beck sold 17 tickets. In Boston, another 17. And in Washington, D.C., the hotbed of political activism, his tearful film drew only 30. [...]

The viewing in Lynnwood, WA -- the closest one to Beck's Mount Vernon hometown -- sold out several hours before the show began. Ten miles south, 70 out of 415 seats had been snagged in Seattle, a better turnout than other cities.

Excuse me for a second while I laugh hysterically.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!
OK. I'm back.

In case anyone is curious what kind of performance art Glenn is capable of, here's a review excerpt:

The Christmas Sweater may seem to be the same kind of run-of-the-mill holiday tale of redemption and hope that we see every year about this time. But considering that the climax involves right-wing talk-show host Glenn Beck, in the guise of a 12 year old version of himself, crying on the stage floor in the fetal position while a large black woman sings hymns to him, I think it might leave viewers with a few more questions than the usual family fare. [...]

The bulk of the evening consists solely of Glenn Beck acting out every role in his hokey story, with only his limited repertoire of accents and pantomime filling out the ‘cast’. Sure, there are a few TV’s behind him on stage, but they only show, at the most, ten or twelve still photos the entire time. And they couldn’t even get that right. Despite only needing a few sound effects, I counted several missed cues, and near the end, Beck talks to the wrong camera for a solid minute. I’m at a loss as to how someone so media-savvy could put out something so aggressively half-ass.

I think I'll save $20 and stick to A Charlie Brown Christmas.

[H/T to ThinkProgress]