Tiger Woods

I couldn't care less about Tiger Woods' apology if you paid me; it's a physical impossibility for me to care any less about it and still be breathing.

Which doesn't mean I don't have an interest in the cultural narratives that play into many wealthy professional male athletes evidently regarding women as one of the entitlements and privileges of their success, or the way the media covers such stories, but apologies for infidelities that don't involve any kind of legal issue—creating a hostile work environment, for example—aren't my business.

Tiger Woods never took a vow to me to be faithful to his wife.

And there's seems to me something deeply disrespectful to Elin, his wife, when we clamor for him to give an apology to us, too. Especially after our usual months of speculation about how his infidelity was her fault. (With an added twist, this time, of falsely accusing her of domestic violence.) Now it's all, "Get in line, sister! We need to hear how sorry he is to us!"

And all the "well, he traded on a squeaky-clean image that was false!" in the world doesn't justify demanding some kind of public apology. That's between him and his sponsors, and if they want to drop his ass like a hot ton of bricks, so be it.

Speaking of which, it has occurred to me that he may well have been contractually obligated by one or more of his sponsors to make a public apology for breaching a character clause, which would make the whole thing even worse. Public contrition for cheating on my wife, sponsored by Nike!

Ugh. We're such a fucked-up country.

Tiger Woods is giving a 14-minute apology for marital infidelity, while, in other news, Roman Polanski's new film that he edited from jail is teh awesome!

I just...ugh.