Today in Just Like Jesus Would Do!

[Trigger warning for clergy abuse.]

First, a follow-up: The Catholic Archdiocese of Denver is defending the decision of a Catholic preschool in Boulder, which denied re-enrollment to two children because their parents are lesbians.

"The Church does not claim that people with a homosexual orientation are 'bad,' or that their children are less loved by God," wrote Archbishop Charles J. Chaput in an article to be published in Thursday's edition of the Denver Catholic Register.

"Quite the opposite. But what the Church does teach is that sexual intimacy by anyone outside marriage is wrong; that marriage is a sacramental covenant; and that marriage can only occur between a man and a woman. These beliefs are central to a Catholic understanding of human nature, family and happiness, and the organization of society. The Church cannot change these teachings because, in the faith of Catholics, they are the teachings of Jesus Christ."

The Catholic Church's rationalizations for this shit just get stupider and stupider. The gall of asserting to care about these excluded children's happiness without a trace of irony while deliberately and unnecessarily marginalizing them from their friends and teachers and education—such unmitigated horseshit!

Even when I was a little wee kid, I never understood the hilariously apparent hypocrisy of a god who ostensibly loves everyone even though everyone's a sinner, and his earthly representatives who make tortured explanations about how its nonetheless our responsibility to marginalize some sinners in special cases because of their specialized sin. What a total crock.

And in other news, "Catholic bishops in the Netherlands have announced an independent investigation into allegations of child abuse by clergy, widening a scandal that touches countries including the United States, Ireland, Germany and Austria."

Dutch church leaders "are deeply moved by the gripping accounts of sexual abuse that have come to light in recent days. Any form of sexual abuse deserves to be heavily condemned," the bishops said in a statement Tuesday.

The bishops turned to a Protestant politician to lead the inquiry: former education minister Wim Deetman, who is also a former mayor of The Hague, Radio Netherlands Worldwide reported Tuesday.

The station broke the story of the alleged abuse of boys by Catholic priests at a boarding school in the Netherlands in the 1960s and 1970s. Hundreds of other reports of abuse flowed in after the story appeared on radio and in the NRC Handelsblad newspaper, Radio Netherlands said.

A top Vatican spokesman Tuesday said the church was reacting appropriately to accusations across western Europe.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. I especially liked when Archbishop Silvano Tomasi, the Vatican's permanent observer to the UN, read a statement last September blaming the continuing issue of sex abuse among clergy on gay men. Totes "appropriate."

German, Dutch and Austrian bishops' conferences "have demonstrated their desire for transparency and, in a certain sense, accelerated the emergence of the problem by inviting victims to speak out, even when the cases involved date from many years ago," Father Federico Lombardi said in a statement.

They should talk to their pals in Ireland. They've got some great ideas on how to handle sex crimes committed by clergy. Harrumph.