Whose Choice?

Liss forwarded me this story a few days ago and I've been flipping it around in my head, trying to figure out how best to approach it.

I've decided that maybe we can have a conversation of sorts about it and the larger issues. I'll tell you what I think, of course, and then give you some background (on me) for context.

The headline reads "Mother furious after in-school clinic sets up teen's abortion" and the first paragraph is

The mother of a Ballard High School student is fuming after the health center on campus helped facilitate her daughter's abortion during school hours.

The mother, referred to as Jill, says she feels her rights were stripped away.

Because I am pro-choice and do not support parental notification laws, you might wonder where, exactly, I am conflicted. It's more of a personal conflict. As a mother, I wouldn't want my child to have a surgical procedure without my being there to be supportive. And I would hope my child could come to me in similar (I have a son) circumstances. I don't necessarily believe it is my right to know and I definitely don't think I should be able to impose my will on such a personal choice.

See, the other side of my story is that I have had an abortion. I was seventeen-going-on-eighteen, my parents did NOT know, and I know I made the right choice. My devoutly-Baptist parents would've never consented. I did not feel it was their right to know or to "make" me carry that pregnancy to term. I wonder if the daughter in this case had similar sentiments.

I am against parental notification laws for two primary reasons. First, I have heard forced pregnancy described, too many times, as parents' punishment for girls who dared to have sex. I know people who say, "If she was woman enough to lay there and get it, she's woman enough to keep it." I know mothers who have denied their daughters epidurals during labor as punishment and "to keep her from doing it again." I know people who posit pregnancy and motherhood as a punitive consequence. I know parents who hope their daughters will feel shame and stigma.

Second, the choice often becomes the parents'. Right now, I am watching as a young relative of mine deals with her second pregnancy. She's a high school senior. When I asked her, at the beginning of this pregnancy, what she wanted to do, I heard, "Well, Granny doesn't believe in abortion" and "Mama says I have to have it." Her father told my sister his daughter would NOT be having an abortion. I am not saying that the young woman is pro-choice; I'm saying I haven't heard what she thinks. It does not matter that she is 19 and could have had it without her parents' consent--she would've faced ostracism, anger, and withdrawn support. Too much for a young person already struggling with school and one baby.

And that's another thing I notice about this story. The mom did not describe what her daughter thought or wanted. She mentions her rights and the school clinic's audacity, but in the end, it was her daughter who decided to terminate the pregnancy without notifying Jill.

What do you think, Shakers? I'm curious to know.