Texting! With Liss and Deeky!

[Trigger warning for wordplay that includes imaginary violence.]

Liss: So…Nicolas Cage has reportedly bought himself a 9-foot-tall pyramid-shaped tomb in a New Orleans cemetery to be his final resting place. Like ya do.

Deeky: LOL!

Liss: I just saw TMZ's headline about it, and, even though they're the devil, this is hilarious: "Nic Cage Buys Pyramid—To Be Dead In."

Deeky: Brilliant. Of course, if I were writing the headline, I'd have figured out a way to refer to Cage as a "National Treasure."

Liss: LOLOLOLOLOL!!! "The Family Man" and "National Treasure" Nicolas Cage Proves He Is Still "Wild at Heart" by Purcharing a Pyramid to be "Trapped in Paradise" Once "The Weather Man" up in the Sky Decides It's "Bringing Out the Dead" Time and Delivers the "Kiss of Death" and Possibly Also a "Deadfall," or, Failing That, Ripping His "Face/Off" with "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" or Hitting Him Over the Head with "The Rock," But in Any Case Tells Cage His Time Is up and He's "Gone in 60 Seconds" and Has Moved on to the "City of Angels" and Become a "Ghost Rider," So Let's All Hope Cage Doesn't Get a "Vampire's Kiss" and Gets to Use His Death Pyramid, and, by the way, "It Could Happen to You!"

Deeky: LOLOLOL! "The Family Man" and "National Treasure" Nicolas Cage Proves He Is Still "Wild at Heart" by Purcharing a Pyramid to be "Trapped in Paradise" Once "The Weather Man" up in the Sky Decides It's "Bringing Out the Dead" Time and Delivers the "Kiss of Death" and Possibly Also a "Deadfall," or, Failing That, Ripping His "Face/Off" with "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" or Hitting Him Over the Head with "The Rock," But in Any Case Tells Cage His Time Is up and He's "Gone in 60 Seconds" and Has Moved on to the "City of Angels" and Become a "Ghost Rider," So Let's All Hope Cage Doesn't Get a "Vampire's Kiss" and Gets to Use His Death Pyramid, and, by the way, "It Could Happen to You" (Con Air).

Later, during a conversation about the cost of living…

Deeky: If I can't get a new job for at least as much as I'm making now, I may as well just sit my ass on your couch forever and not work at all. I mean, become your houseboy.

Liss: You can get a job in Chicago and commute with Iain every morning!

Deeky: LOL! And we could sing "My Baby Takes the Morning Train..." every morning.

Liss: On the way home, you two can sing "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves. When you take POWER LUNCHES together, you can sing "My Future's So Bright (I Gotta Wear Shades)" by Cory (Heart).

Deeky: LOLOLOLOL!! Cory (Heart) (Con Air.)

Liss: P.S. That was Timbuk3. Not Corey Hart. He sang the one about wearing sunglasses at night. So many songs about sunglasses in the 80s!

Deeky: It's not like there was anything else going on. P.S. I love songs with parentheses. Did you know that John Parr sang the theme song from "The Running Man"? It's called "(Restless Heart) Running Away With You."

Liss: I did not know that. I love songs with parentheses, too. Especially when they're part of some line of the refrain repeated a thousand times in a song. "(I Will Always) Be There For You" or some bullshit. Really? That parenthetical is necessary? Are you sure?

Deeky: Wasn't every New Kids song like that? Their best was "(I'll Be) Loving You (Forever)" because you can never have too many parentheses.

Liss: Oh Donnie Wahlberg, how I loved you (Con Air).