Leave Jason Batman* Alone!

If I hadn't already posted a Quote of the Day, this would have been it. Tough luck, Gabe. Better luck next time!

I would like to offer a defense of Jason Bateman.

...Let's say that you were a successful Hollywood actor and you wanted to buy an expensive new phone on the first day it came out, because you, like many other confused people in this upside-down world apparently, have a deep need for immediate gratification. But you're a decent enough guy/lady. You go to the store, and you stand in line with everyone else. All 2,000 of them. (Seriously, that is so many people to be standing in line for a fucking phone. Unacceptable. That is the thing that people should have been booing. "Booo! Get off the line!") And then someone from the store comes up to you and says "Hi, I recognize your face from the TV at my house. It would be my pleasure to allow to you come into the store now without standing outside for six hours, which is a CHOICE that everyone else in this line is making OF THEIR OWN VOLITION." What are you going to do? Say no? "No, sir, I'm right where I am supposed to be. With the people!" That's somehow EVEN WORSE.

Not to mention the fact that it was one Jason Bateman, not, like, 300 Jasons Bateman. In a line of 2,000 people (God damn it! Doesn't anyone in Hollywood WORK?) letting Jason Bateman cut has no appreciable effect on the speed or efficiency of the line. It's going to take you just as long (too long) to get a thing that you don't need, much less that you don't need TODAY TODAY TODAY TODAY. "I was perfectly happy to spend the entire day in this awful line for a thing I could order from the comfort of my home and have within a week, but now that a single person has not had to suffer the same chosen fate, I am furious, but will definitely keep waiting in this line for sure. What am I going to do? NOT wait in this line? Don't be ridiculous."

* Deliberate. Save your emails!