A Movie Review: Grown-Ups

(in lieu of the half-dozen important posts I could and should be making, I offer this bit of fluff that came to me)

There's a new movie coming out, Grown-Ups. Now, no progressive could fail to be thrilled that it will star the comedy stylings of not only noted empath and sensitive comedian Adam Sandler, but also such nuanced and capable actors as Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider. With a cast like that, how could it fail to be a piece of awe-inspiring beauty, of heart-rending insight into the human condition?

Really, I just want to congratulate the director, Dennis Dugan, for assembling this talented ensemble to examine an area of human life which is critically under-examined in modern popular culture: the man-child, and his bromantic relations. This is a sincere, innovative and ultimately uplifting story about five men who behave like children, when freed of the horrid adult-conforming lifestyle which would be forced upon them by humourless bitches, as so often happens.

I'm sure some pedantic, humourless feminist "film reviewer" will come along to pan this wonderful film, imposing her hairy-legged man-hating agenda, insisting that there are enough movies about this topic already. Nonsense, I say, NONSENSE! What the world needs is more movies about (white hetero cis currently abled) men (and a sassy Black friend, how post-racial is that, am I rite, bros?), as this is obviously an area which is chronically ignored in our ultra-feminized, post-racial culture.

I urge everyone to camp out to see this movie the instant it opens. In fact, I think we should have a write-in campaign to make them release the movie at midnight of the Thursday, so we don't have to wait all the way to Friday night for it.

In other news, Happy Opposite Day, everyone.