I Would File This Under "Assvertising," But...

dhonig:

So, ladies, you say you want a raise? How should you go about getting it?

First, you have to figure out how to compete with the guy in the next cubicle. After all, he went to a school almost as good as yours. His grades were nearly as good as yours, too. He works hard. In fact, most mornings, he's the second person in the office. You know this, because you're always first. He is young, ruggedly good looking, and he washes his balls with a manly but fresh sandalwood soap.

What to do?

Fortunately, the good folks at Women's Day and Summer's Eve have a few words of advice for you.

[Click to embiggen.]


"1. It should start with your usual routine and all the things you do to feel your best, including showering with Summer's Eve Feminine Wash or throwing a packet of Summer's Eve Feminine Cleansing Cloths into your bag for a quick freshness pick-me-up during the day."

Um. I've seen a lot of variations on the "Your pussy is grody and stinky, lady! So buy our product to clean your disgusting naughtyparts!" meme, but never in all my days have I seen women admonished to clean their vulvas before asking for a raise.

And, seriously: "Only nice, clean girls with sparkly cooters get more money!" is a fucked-up message in ways I can't even begin to deconstruct.

[I]f you think this is one of the most outrageous and insulting advertisements you've ever seen, feel free to tell the people at Woman's Day. You can also call them at (212) 767-6000.

And don't forget the Summer's Eve people. Their toll-free number is 866-787-6383, and the website is HERE.

Teaspoons ahoy.

[H/Ts to everyone in the multiverse, and thank you to each and every one of you. Assvertising: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117.]