For the Straight, White, Wealthy, Famous, Super-Privileged Dude Who Has Everything

[Click to embiggen.]
From the October issue of men's magazine GQ:

Headline: Ryan Reynolds Wants Out of the Box

Subhead: Funny. Charming. Ripped. (Even his abs have abs.) As likable as a guy that handsome can be. But while everyone was taking him for granted as a bright spot in mediocre comedies or puzzling over his stealth marriage to the world's most desirable woman, Ryan Reynolds was busy making himself a movie star, which is one way to explain his latest role, as a man who's been buried alive.

From the October issue of men's magazine Details:

Headline: Brian Austin Green Married Megan Fox—and You Didn't

Subhead: Since leaving the 90210 ZIP code, the actor has endured cracks about his hair, his rap album, and his flagging career. But he wakes up next to Megan Fox every morning, so who's laughing now?

Emphasis mine.

A hot, successful wife still makes a great accessory!

To be clear, neither Ryan Reynolds nor Brian Austin Green speak about their wives that way. (Reynolds is married to Scarlett Johansson—whose name, I note, is inserted into the URL for the story for purposes of commoditizing her to draw traffic, but not inserted into the subhead for purposes of commoditizing her as her husband's covetable accessory.) Treating Fox and Johansson like trophies acquired by their husbands is a trick of the magazines, whose uninspired and indistinguishable layouts and virtually identical content—apparently men are longing to read about famous men's hot wives and rock hard abs—would expose their pathetic hackery, even if their revolting misogyny didn't.