Earlier today Liss and I were talking about our childhood masturbation habits. (And no, don't even ask how we got on that subject.)
I confessed a fondness for sticking Atari joysticks up my b-hole as a boy. (By the way, I so need one of these, like now.)
Liss said she had a drumstick swathed in balloon. "So as to avoid splinters."
(When she said drumstick, the first thing that ran through my mind was chicken leg, and was immediately all "Eeewww!" Then I thought "That frozen ice cream bar? Brrrr!" After a moment it processed, and my mind went back to splinters. Youch!)
So, what's the weirdest thing you ever masturbated with as a kid?
p.s. Liss notes: "For the record, I have never wanked with foodstuff of any description."
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