Consent. Autonomy. Respect. Dignity.

[Trigger warning for misogyny, sexual assault, bullying, suicide, slut-shaming, and victim-blaming.]


[Transcript below.]
Above is video of a CNN piece that aired about Hope Witsell, a 13-year-old girl who hung herself after being viciously bullied following the dissemination of a picture of her breasts she texted to her boyfriend.

This story is similar to the more widely-discussed Tyler Clementi case in a very important way: Sexual images of Witsell were distributed without her consent, so it was not merely bullying, or "cyberbullying," that Witsell experienced, but sexual assault. And, also like the Clementi case, any discussion of sexual assault aspect is being eclipsed by the current media meme about bullying.

But the way in which Witsell's situation is being framed here is meaningfully different from the way Clementi's case was framed by mainstream commentators, who clearly laid the responsibility at the feet of his roommate. Here, we hear instead of Witsell's "mistake," and how she'd been warned by her mother about "the dark side of cell phones and computers," but "sexted" a private sexual photo to her boyfriend nonetheless. Curiously, it is never explained how the image privately sent to the boy ended up being in the hands of a female classmate, who then widely disseminated the photo, nor are either of them held accountable for the grave breach of Witsell's trust. Welcome to the rape culture, where it's just taken as read that people will violate you, so it's your responsibility not to do anything to make yourself vulnerable. And if you do, that's your "mistake."

No one with any decency suggests Clementi shouldn't have trusted his roommate not to secretly film him. But suggesting that Witsell shouldn't have trusted her boyfriend not to pass along a private image is not only considered acceptable, but the obvious conclusion for how the whole thing could have been avoided.

If we lived in a different (better) culture, we would use the sad and entirely avoidable death of Hope Witsell to have a national referendum on how slut-shaming and victim-blaming, specifically in association with young women's sexuality, is as damaging to (and frequently deadly for) young straight women as homo/bi/transphobic bullying is to LGBTQI youth. There is so much crossover between misogyny, homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia, particularly at the intersection of demonized sexuality, of which expressions of young straight women's sexual agency remains firmly a part, that these are not separate issues, nor competing issues—they are inextricably linked. Consent. Autonomy. Respect. Dignity.

Of course, if we lived in a different (better) culture, I wouldn't be writing this post at all.

Randi Kaye, CNN Correspondent (in voiceover, over photographs of Hope Witsell): Hope Witsell was a good student, but about a year ago Hope did something so unexpected, so out of character, it changed everything. (onscreen): Friends and family say this all started in the spring of 2009 at the end of the school year when Hope sexted a picture of her breasts to her boyfriend. Another girl at school they say got her hands on that photo and sent it to students at six different schools in the area. Before Hope could do anything about it, that photo had gone viral.

Donna Witsell, Hope's Mother: —and to just love everybody.

Kaye (in voiceover): Hope's mother, Donna, says she warned her many times about the dark side of cell phones and computers. (onscreen, sitting with Donna Witsell): So after all those conversations, you never imagined that she would sext a photo of herself to someone.

Witsell: No. No. No. Absolutely not.

Kaye (in voiceover): The photo made Hope a target. She was in middle school—11, 12 and 13-year-olds, and suddenly bullies everywhere.

Kayla Stitch, Hope's Friend (sitting at a table with other friends of Hope's, being interviewed by Kaye): They would walk up to her and call her like a big slut and whore, and, like, they would—sometimes they would, like, call her skank and, like, just be really, like, cruel to her.

Kaye: Hope hid her pain from her family and school officials. They knew about the photo, but she never told them about the ridicule. And she couldn't escape it. Online, friends say bullies wrote horrible things about Hope. On a MySpace page called "The Shields Middle School Burn Book," anonymous bullies created a "Hope Hater" page to taunt her.

Abby Hudson, Hope's Friend: Every time I see it I think back to Hope and what people were saying about her.

Kaye (in voiceover): And it got worse. In school friends formed a human shield for her.

Lexi Leber, Hope's Friend: People would try to come by and like hit her or push her into a locker or something.

Kaye: So you walked as a—like a crowd?

Stitch: Yes.

Kaye: Protecting her.

Leber: She was, like, afraid to walk alone because she was afraid that somebody was going to do something to her, or like verbally attack her, so we always—so she'd always have somebody come with her.

Kaye (in voiceover): Her parents did not know what was going on. (onscreen): Did you see a change in her behavior? Could you tell something wasn't quite right?

Witsell: I could tell that she was struggling to overcome this mistake that she made.

Kaye (in voiceover): On a Saturday, as school was starting last year, Hope helped her dad mow the lawn, ate dinner with her parents, and then went upstairs to her room. Her parents turned on a TV show.

Witsell: When we had finished watching the program, and I went upstairs to go in her room and kiss her goodnight, like I always do, is when I found her.

Kaye: What happened when you walked in her bedroom?

Witsell: I—I screamed for my husband as I was putting her on the bed. And doing CPR.

Kaye (in voiceover): It was too late. Hope was already dead. The 13-year-old hanged herself from her canopy bed. She used her favorite scarves. (onscreen): The day before she died Hope met with a social worker at school. A spokesperson for the school said the social worker was concerned that Hope may have been trying to harm herself, so she had her sign what's called a "no harm" contract in which Hope promised to speak to an adult if she was considering hurting herself. Her mother told me she was never told about that contract. She found it crumpled in the garbage in Hope's bedroom after she had died. (in voiceover): The school told us that the social worker had tried calling Hope's parents, but the parents say the school dropped the ball. And still, incredibly, the bullying was not over. After Hope's suicide, her sister Samantha found more cruel comments posted on Hope's MySpace page.

Samantha Beattie, Hope's Sister: There was people putting comments on there like, oh, my god, did Hope really kill herself, I can't believe that whore did that, you know, just obscene things that I would never expect from a 12-year-old or 13-year-olds.

Kaye: Obscene things written by children. So terrible, Hope Witsell thought there was only one way to escape. Randi Kaye, CNN, Tampa, Florida.