"I Did an Evening of Vegetables Off-Broadway!"

(About the title: check out this clip from Tootsie and the partial transcript below the fold for context.)

We seem to have a carrot theme today. I'm inspired to do my part.

My younger sister's birthday rolled around again last month, and I knew she wanted a carrot cake. She requested a straightforward carrot cake with walnuts but no pineapple or coconut. A carrot cake with classic cream cheese frosting, but not too much. And absolutely no bakery-style piped icing carrots on top.

Turns out, it's pretty hard to find a satisfactory straightforward carrot cake recipe. I tinkered around with a mixture of Alton Brown's recipe and the one for carrot cake cupcakes from Thomas Keller's ad hoc at home. The final recipe is significantly different from either source. To cut down on the amount of frosting, I made up a tangy carrot and apricot jam to go between the cake layers. The recipes are below the fold. I baked the layers separately in case the experimental recipe was a disaster, so I have not tried doubling it.

TheLadyEve had vehemently denounced "those piped carrots" on bakery carrot cakes, so my big sister and I decided there should definitely be some kind of carrot on top of the cake for that all-important smartass factor. It was Labor Day weekend, and we gave TheLadyEve ocean-related gifts for her soap-making--sea salt, sea mud, ground seaweed. So we chose a beach theme:


A chocolate plastic carrot relaxes on a ground-walnut beach beside a cream cheese frosting sea.



The final touch: a paper umbrella in the carrot's drink. Meta!


From Tootsie. This excerpt begins around 2:40 in the linked clip:

GEORGE: You got one of the worst reputations in this town, Michael: nobody will hire you.

MICHAEL: Are you saying that nobody in New York will work with me?

GEORGE: Oh, no--that's too limited. Nobody in Hollywood wants to work with you either. I can't even send you up for a commercial--you play the tomato for thirty seconds, they went a half a day over-schedule 'cause you wouldn't sit down!

MICHAEL: Yes. It wasn't logical.

GEORGE: You were a tomato! A tomato doesn't have logic! A tomato can't move!

MICHAEL: That's what I said! So if he can't move, how's he gonna sit down, George? I was a stand-up tomato, a juicy, sexy, Beefsteak tomato! Nobody does vegetables like me--I did an evening of vegetables off-Broadway. I did the best tomato, the best cucumber--I did an endive salad that knocked the critics on their ass!

GEORGE: Michael, I--I'm trying to stay calm here. You, uh, are a wonderful actor--

MICHAEL: Thank you.

GEORGE: But you're Too. Much. Trouble--get some therapy.

MICHAEL: OK thanks--I'm going to raise eight thousand dollars and I'm gonna do Jeff's play.

GEORGE: Michael? You're not going to raise twenty-five cents: no-one will hire you.

MICHAEL: Oh yeah?

[Cut to first scene of Michael Dorsey dressed as Dorothy Michaels, on a crowded New York street]

Finally, the cake recipe. I frosted it with Alton Brown's basic cream cheese frosting.

Straight-Up Carrot Cake with Walnuts

For one 10 x 2-inch layer (have not yet tried doubling):

2.5 cups sifted cake four (scant)
3 cups carrots, medium-grate (5 large peeled and trimmed carrots)
1 rounded teaspoon baking powder
1 level teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons spice mix (see below)
1 cup plus 1 Tablespoon white sugar
½ cup gently-packed light brown sugar
3 large eggs
5 ounces plain yogurt
7 ounces canola oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
¾ cup chopped toasted walnuts

Spice mix (about enough for two cake layers. I include the brands I used; substitute as necessary):
1 Tablespoon King Arthur Vietnamese cinnamon
1 Tablespoon Penzey’s Baking Spice
2 teaspoons Penzey’s french four spice
1 teaspoon added ginger (there is some in the four-spice)
1 teaspoon added cardamom (there’s a bit in the Baking Spice)
½ teaspoon fresh-ground grains of paradise
1 small pinch of saffron, powdered as finely as possible
2 pinches finely powdered Hu Kwa tea (smoky black tea), stem bits removed (about one-eighth teaspoon).

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F

Butter and flour a 10-inch round and 2-inch deep cake pan. Line the bottom with parchment paper.

Set aside grated carrots and walnuts in separate containers.

Mix flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and spices in a bowl and set aside.

Put yogurt, sugars, eggs and extract into mixer with paddle attachment. Mix until sugar is dissolved. With mixer running, drizzle in oil and beat until thoroughly mixed. Mix in dry ingredients, being careful not to over-mix. Fold in carrots and walnuts. Pour batter into prepared pan and bake in the center of the oven for 40 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 325 and bake 15 minutes longer, until skewer stuck in the center comes out clean and cake has pulled away from sides of pan. Cool in pan on rack for 15 minutes; de-pan and cool completely.

Carrot Jam Filling, if doing two layers:

¾ bag of baby carrots
10 dried apricot halves
¼ cup orange juice
2 Tablespoons chopped crystallized ginger

Heat and cover; allow to steam until the carrots are very tender (20 minutes)

Add the following:

Half a jar of apricot preserves
The rind of one lime and the juice of 2 (one lemon would work instead)
A few grinds grains of paradise
A small pinch of saffron, powdered
2 tablespoons of cognac
2 teaspoons of balsamic vinegar
Dash of salt
2 tablespoons of cold butter

Puree with a blender or food processor and chill.