Oh, Snap!

Shaker Lauren forwards the pdf of a real court document featuring an exchange between Bennet M. Epstein, an attorney who requested possible time off, and US District Judge Kimba Wood (whose name may be familiar from "Nannygate"). Epstein explains he may need time off to celebrate the birth of his grandchild...if it is a boy:

Should the child be a girl, not much will happen in the way of public celebration. Some may even be disappointed, but will do their best to conceal this by saying, "as long as it's a healthy baby". My wife will run to Philly immediately, but I will probably be able wait until the next weekend. There will be happiness, though muted, and this application will be mooted as well.

However, should the baby be a boy, then hoo hah! [Yiddish for "a big fuss"] Hordes of friends and family will arrive from around the globe and descend on Philadelphia for the joyous celebration mandated by the halacha [Jewish law (citation omitted)] to take place during daylight hours on the eighth day, known as the bris. [Hebrew for "covenant", for the Covenant of Abraham, i.e. ritual circumcision, joyous to everyone except, apparently, the baby.] The eighth day after December 3rd could be right in the middle of the trial. My presence at the bris is not strictly commanded, although my absence will never be forgotten by those that matter.

Came Judge Wood's handwritten reply:

Mr. Epstein will be permitted to attend the bris, in the joyous event that a son is born. But the Court would like to balance the scales. If a daughter is born, there will be a public celebration in Court, with readings from poetry celebrating girls and women.

Hee.