This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

Back in January, one of the Worst Things was a garbage nightmare article written by one Kay S. Hymowitz, whose bio, I noted, advertised that she is "the author of the forthcoming Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys."

Well, that tome is scheduled to drop into your local Borders on March 1, so the Wall Street Journal, always eager to help advance the careers of the hopelessly unimaginative peddling the latest retread of ancient kyriarchal narratives as an edgy new idea, has provided space to Ms. Hymowitz to share her totally trenchant theories with us.

Where Have the Good Men Gone? asks the headline. Hahaha! I love witty and original things! Can I get an amen, ladies?!

But Ms. Hymowitz does not write her own headlines, and it's really the meat of the article that makes it great. I'm hard-pressed to pick a favorite part, what with all the gender essentialism (YOU KNOW HOW I LOVE GENDER ESSENTIALISM!) and awesome pop culture references (Sex and the City AND Judd Apatow?! NOW YOU'RE JUST SPOILING ME, KAY HYMOWITZ!), but I am inordinately fond of this line:

Today's pre-adults are a different matter. They are a major demographic event.

Don't even TRY to question the rationale for her Important Work, people. Pre-adults are a MAJOR DEMOGRAPHIC EVENT. I know, because she tells me right in her article. No doy.

[H/T to Shaker Matt Killmon.]