This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

How to survive as a SAHG (stay-at-home girlfriend).

This certainly had the potential to be a good article and yet it reads as if it was satire, playing off the ideas of a Maryland county commissioner who voted to chop Head Start funding because "women should be married and at home with the kids". Yet, it's not satire.

It's potential could have been used to assist people who were once going-out-to-work get used to having days of, well, not going to work. It can be a tough transition for some. It could have highlighted various resources for people to find book clubs or volunteer work or something like that. It certainly could have done all of that and included some relationship advice because there IS a change--internal or external or both--when a partnership goes from two people earning to one person earning and the other being at home. Yet it doesn't really do that. Taking a page from Gwyneth Paltrow's School of Inane and Asinine Advice, this writer doles out stuff such as:

Don’t sleep in: When my boyfriend wakes up at 6, I get up with him, turn on the television, chat with him, and try to make him a simple breakfast, maybe scrambled eggs or just cereal and juice. It’s bad enough that he knows I’m home all day, no need for him to think I sleep until noon.

And he gives a shit if you sleep until noon because....?

Keep the place clean: When I was working, the cleaning usually didn’t get done until Saturday — now it’s part of my daily to-do list. Like any other busy person getting ready in the morning, he throws his clothes on the floor, takes a shower and leaves the floor wet etc. Why leave it there for him to take care of when he gets home? To be spiteful? I’d much rather pick up behind him — I don’t want to live in a messy home either. It also gives me something to do when my brain reaches its resumé-submission limit.

Why leave it there? Maybe because you aren't his mommy and he can pick up his own damn clothes? I totally get wanting a clean house. I do. I, however, also get the fact that I'm not the only one responsible for it being that way. Why didn't the cleaning get done until Saturday when you were working outside the home? Because only you were doing it then, too? Barf.

There are more precious gems in that post. This one, however, really takes the cake. The shit cake, that is:

Sexy Time: Everyone knows there is nothing more important in a relationship than that special time between the sheets. I have eight to nine hours everyday to send out my resumés and clean and make dinner, by the time he comes home from work I am well rested. Frankly, there’s no real reason (time of the month aside) why I shouldn’t be ready and willing when he is. I try very hard to keep my boyfriend happy and this is a key part of doing so.

No. This is just NO. It doesn't matter how many hours you have to do whatever you damn well want to do. YOU DO NOT OWE HIM ANY "SEXY TIME". Ever. There is always a reason, a REAL reason: how you feel. If you don't want to, you don't want to. He needs to respect that. If he doesn't, that's a huge, huge problem.

Look. I've been a stay-at-home parent for a decade now. I actually do the majority of the housework because, well, I have the opportunity to do so. I also do whatever I want (hence, now, blogging instead of, say, cleaning -- and no one is even home but me! *gasp*). It works for me/us. I obviously have no real issue with the general idea of "being at home doing most of the cleaning and cooking and wev" being one way a partnership works. I have a real big problem with the idea of having to do "X" to please (or, worse, appease) someone who is ostensibly your partner because that partner is the one who brings home the money. That's just unmitigated horseshit and very, very bad "advice".