Pawlenty 4 Prez

Former Minnesota Governor and Professional Misogynist, Racist, Homophobe, and Transphobe, i.e. Republican, Tim Pawlenty is reportedly going to announce the formation of an exploratory committee blah blah presidency blah blah 2012 blah blah later today. He's a relatively young and reasonably decent-looking straight white Christian man with a "red-hot smoking wife," who hates everyone who isn't exactly like him and has a pair of bootstraps tattooed on his ass or whatever, and he's got a big "it's his turn" momentum behind him, which is an important element of GOP king-making, so he's got a pretty good chance of securing the Republican nomination.

He joins Newt Gingrich, Professor of Hypocrisy at Moral Values University, as the second Republican to throw his hat in the ring.

FUN FACT! Former Minnesota Lt. Governor and Traffic Commissioner Carol Molnau was long regarded as Pawlenty's heir apparent until the horrible bridge collapse that happened on their watch. (Pawlenty, like all good Republicans, is very loyal: He continued to support Molnau and say she was "doing a good job" even after she admitted she hadn't been reading bridge reports: "Do I look at the bridge inspection reports? No. I really believe we have professionals trained to do that.") After Molnau's disgrace, Pawlenty's former staff supported virulently anti-gay Tom Emmer in the last election, a donation to whose candidacy created a shitstorm for Target.

[Recommended reading on Pawlenty: My Neighbor Is Kinda a Bigot; Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Tim Pawlenty, But Were Too Bored to Ask.]