Santorum 4 Prez

Joining his BFFs Newt Gingrich, Tim Pawlenty, and Willard Romney, former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum has announced the formation of a presidential exploratory committee.

"In 2008 Americans wanted a president who they could believe in, but after two years they realized that what they needed is a president who believes in them," Santorum said in a statement. "It's time for America to be America again - an America that rewards innovation and hard work, that stands by our allies instead of our enemies, that protects even the most vulnerable of our society, and an America that says every life is to be cherished. That is what I believe in, and that's why I'm taking this next step in a possible run for president."

He is such a colossal dipshit.

For those among us too young to recall the glory days of Rick Santorum, here are a few of his greatest hits:

— On same-sex marriage: "In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be."

— On feminism: "What happened in America so that mothers and fathers who leave their children in the care of someone else find themselves more affirmed by society? Here, we can thank the influence of radical feminism, one of the core philosophies of the village elders."

— On homosexuality: "If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual [gay] sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery... You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does."

— On diversity: "The elementary error of relativism becomes clear when we look at multiculturalism. Sometime in the 1980s, universities began to champion the importance of 'diversity' as a central educational value."

— On institutional sex abuse in the Catholic Church: "While there's no excuse for this scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm."

— On same-sex marriage: "Isn't that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?"

— On late-term abortion: "Partial birth abortion [is] the calculated killing of the nearly born."

— On homosexuality: "I have no problem with homosexuality. I have a problem with homosexual acts."

— On then-Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle (D) criticizing Bush in 2003 for initiating military action against Iraq without support of the UN Security Council: "Sen. Daschle clearly articulated the French position."

Good times.

[Previous Santorum.]