Two Facts

1. David Brooks is still being paid to write a garbage column for the New York Times.

2. He's just taking the piss now, because this is not the work of an adult human being:

President Obama and Paul Ryan are two of the smartest, most admirable and most genial men in Washington. It is sad, although not strange, that in today's Washington they have never had a serious private conversation. The president has never invited Ryan over even for lunch.

As a result, both men are misinformed about the other, and both have developed a cold contempt for the other's position.

Yes, Mr. Brooks, but what happens when, during The Luncheon That Will Totes Solve the Vast and Bitter Partisan Divide in Washington, Rep. Ryan orders a STEAK (Real American^TM) and President Obama orders an ARUGULA SALAD (gay)? What THEN, sir?!

WHAT THEN?!