Aaaaaaaaaaaaand We're Back

I had a restful and lovely week off, during which Iain and I traveled east to visit our good friends the Space Cowpokes. We drove cross-country, so we could bring Dudley with us and he could meet the Space Cowpokes' greyhound Alfie, who, by coincidence, is Dudley's fifth cousin. (Dudley was, as he always is, an absolute dream the whole time, even in the car.) Aside from the traveling itself, which is back-breaking and butt-numbing drudgery, our trip was fantastic. More on that later.

So, did I miss anything? Let's see…

Mike Huckabee isn't running for president, and neither is my garbage governor Mitch "Whoops My Head" Daniels, but this guy is. Someone please get Herman Cain a copy of the memo about his party being totally fucking racist.

Gallup finds for the first time that a majority of Americans support same-sex marriage and marriage equality. The Minnesota legislature nonetheless tells social justice to go to hell.

Hey, speaking of going to hell, LOL YOUR RAPTURE FAIL.

[TW] Hey, speaking of world-class jackassery, it was a great week to be Lars Von Trier, whose "hilarious" anti-Semitism was eclipsed by the news that former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been accused of rape, which in turn was not nearly as interesting as the news that former California governor and current entitled misogynist thunderfuck Arnold Schwarzenegger had a "love child" with his former maid. Maybe if Strauss-Kahn's crime provided opportunities for fun portmanteaus like "The Sperminator," it would get more coverage. If only something zany rhymed with "sexual assault" or "thinking about how often he's potentially done this before makes me barf." Oh well! (P.S. Does "France" believe any powerful white man to be capable of rape? Just checking.)

Did I hear that Obama said something about Israel last week…? Well, I'm sure whatever it was that it wasn't controversial!

In James Franco news, James Franco carved Brad Renfro's name into his arm in tribute to the deceased actor and as part of as part of Franco's new art project Rebel, because James Franco. What—did you think James Franco wouldn't carve Brad Renfro's name into his arm or something? You're so weird. It's ART, no doy. He also graduated from New York University:



Congraduations, Professor Franco!
And finally, RIP Macho Man Randy Savage. I don't believe in heaven, but I like to think you and all the angels are snapping into Slim Jims, anyway.

Talk about all these things! Or none of them!

Onward, Shakers.