Piano music. Sunset. Bridge. Edinburgh University. Words: "Scotland, 1988." Anne Hathaway not at all looking like women looked in the late '80s, which no doy, because no actress can be convinced to look like women actually looked in the '80s, which is and always will be a problem with period '80s films, but I digress. Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess, whom you may know as "Shop Assistant" from the 2001 TV movie Hawk, introduce themselves to each other. It's not even a meet cute. More like a meet snore, amirite, ladies?! Whoooooops they slept together. But they agree to be friends. Phew. If they just went their separate ways in a healthy manner, that would really fuck up this movie!
Male Voiceover, over montage of scenes over the years, marked exclusively by haircuts and not at all by aging: "On the day they met, Dexter and Emma never imagined how their lives would intersect over the next 20 years." That goes to show you how ADORABLY QUIRKY these two kids are, because most people totally can imagine how their relationships with other people will play out over decades upon their first meeting. I remember the day I first spoke to Deeky, in fact: Iain got home from work and asked me how my day was, and I was all, "OMG I totes met the nicest fellow, and we are going to spend the next twenty years texting each other constantly about b-holes!"
ANYway… Anne Hathaway is a disaster. Oh, I'm sorry—a disastah! Blah blah he's successful. They go on a holiday (British). Anne Hathaway wants ground rules, which include "No skinnydipping." Cut to skinnydipping. HA HA! What a wacky duo.
Jim Sturgess tells his mum (British) that he and Anne Hathaway are just friends. I have literally seen that same scene in like 97 trailers this month.
Male Voiceover, over more montagery: "This summer, experience the lives of two people for one day each year, on each anniversary of the day they met." Yup.
Jim Sturgess' career is faltering. He tells Anne Hathaway, "I'm so much better when you're around." Aww. What a terrible person he is. Then, in a totally different scene, he makes fun of her for wanting to be an inspirational teacher. She hugs him and tells him she loves him but doesn't like him anymore. Then he's getting married. Then he has a baby. His life is not what he was expecting. Anne Hathaway gets a haircut she describes pejoratively as "butch." Jim Sturgess' mum is dying. He calls Anne Hathaway: "I need to speak to someone. Not someone—you." Jim Sturgess' mate (British) says, "She made you decent, and then in return you made her so happy." In voiceover, Anne Hathaway says, "Whatever happens tomorrow, we have today. I'll always remember it." Oh no! I hope she doesn't step out in front of a double-decker lorry (British) and get killed on the anniversary of the day they met! Or something equally stupid that pretends it's profound!
The words on the screen tell us that this is "an extraordinary story…of friendship and loss…and the enduring power of love." Sounds great! Except for how it looks like garbage. Whoops!
[Via Gabe.]
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