Giuliani 4 Prez

Oh boy. Former New York Mayor Rudy "A Noun, a Verb, and 9/11" Giuliani is reportedly considering running for president. Again. Despite the fact that his 2008 candidacy flamed out faster than a damp sparkler.

Speaking at a dinner with reporters in Washington, [New York Republican Representative Peter King], who was an enthusiastic Giuliani supporter in 2008, said the former mayor has been quietly lining up support and exploring strategy. Giuliani has also examined the mistakes his campaign made in '08, when he did not seriously compete in a contest until the Florida primary, by which time he was hopelessly behind in the race.

Yes, the problem was Giuliani's failure to seriously compete early enough, not the fact that he's a thrice-married philanderer who spent most of his political career in New York being unacceptably liberal on social issues by his party base's retrofuck standards, and, as a presidential candidate, was virtually indistinguishable from a parrot trained to squawk "9/11!" at random intervals. Oh, and there was that whole Kerik thing. Whooooooooooops!

It's unclear what effect a Giuliani candidacy would have on the primary campaign. There is an ongoing conversation among Republican political insiders about supposed voter unhappiness with the GOP field, and after Indiana governor Mitch Daniels' decision not to run, pundits and strategists have focused on hopes that New Jersey governor Chris Christie or House Budget Committee chairman Paul Ryan might be coaxed into running. Others have mentioned the name of former Florida governor Jeb Bush. Few observers have looked to Giuliani as a possible savior of the Republican Party.

LULZ.

Thing is, running Giuliani makes as much sense as any of the other dipfucks currently on the list of potential contenders, because it doesn't actually matter who the Republicans stick on the ticket. The next election is going to be a referendum on Obama's first term, and the vast majority of voters will either vote for Obama, or vote for Whoever the Other Choice Is, based almost exclusively on what they think of Obama's leadership. The GOP might as well run a goat and a paperclip; as long as the goat hates taxes and gay marriage and the paper clip wears a flag lapel pin, they'll get 30% of the vote, guaranteed.

[Via @EricBoehlert.]