Whoooooooooops I Barfed on Fox News

Actual Headline: "What Women Want in the Next President." All of us. Every single one. We all want the same thing, no doy.

Actual Author: Penny Nance, CEO of Concerned Women for America, an organization founded by Beverly LaHaye, wife of Tim LaHaye, author of the "Left Behind" masterworks.

Actual First Three Paragraphs:

Some women have something called "The List," a comprehensive catalog of qualities they must have in their future husband. Handsome? Check. Funny? Check. Honest? Check. Treats his mother like gold? Check. Man of faith? Check. Some people may find a list like this a little too picky and pretentious, but when picking a mate for life, women can't be too careful. This is the man who will hopefully father their children, provide for their family, and be the good husband she deserves.

While choosing a husband takes discernment, much thought and even gut instinct, the same can be said for choosing the president of the United States. Women are picky; no news there. But they need to be picky for the same reasons they need to be choosy about a husband.

Although not the father of her children, the president has a direct impact on their future. While not her family's provider, his economic policies directly impact her family's budget. While not the teacher of her children in school, his education policies will affect her kids in the classroom. And while not at home every night protecting her family, his military policies will impact the safety of the nation.

Breaking News: Barfbagz, Inc. marks record profits. Stock price soars.

There is oh so much more at the link, including gems like "Women know that and want the best for our nation and their own children and families. But as the men in our lives will testify, every so often we can't make up our minds." and "Conservative women want someone who will protect their families and keep them safe so they won't have to worry about their kids getting on an airplane or taking the train or bus."

Naturally, she's talking about TERRORISTS, not about the safety regulations that the Real Men^TM of the GOP endeavor to dismantle at every opportunity, nor stupid crap that feminized girlie-boys like Ralph Nader shove down our throats, like SEATBELTS.

[H/Ts to Shakers scatx and Leah.]