This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

Care of Cosmopolitan, the premiere woman-hating magazine for women: We Know Why You Didn't Get Promoted.

And, no, it is not because of any kind of systemic prejudice. It's because your nails look like garbage, sister! Etc.

Obviously, being indifferent toward your company's dress code/culture or bringing rank coffee breath into a meeting can be problematic, sure, but are these the primary reasons women are getting passed over for promotions? I'm guessing not.

I'm also guessing, ahem, that encouraging women to unquestioningly respond to body policing with more compliance, without so much as a passing criticism of how shitty it is, is possibly not the best suggestion for women, if women ever want to not be denied promotions on the basis of their appearance. I'm not suggesting women burn a bra on their boss' desk, but there's a middle ground that can (and should) be staked out in which women who are obliged to conform to body/hair/clothes policing at work are challenged to think about the justness of that obligation, so that they might change the rules, once they're in the position to do some rule-changing.

Or never mind wheeeeeeeeeeeeee we can all pretend we make our patriarchal-complaint choices in a void! Yay! I would totes high-five all of you about how post-feminist we are, but I don't want to break a nail and risk my big promotion to Vice President of Garbage!

[H/T to @scatx.]