Another Month, Another Celebrity Mom Who Doesn't Know How to Use "I" Language

Entertainment publicists evidently continue to fail their clients by not advising them on the value of "I" language to avoid alienating existing or potential fans: In August, we had Jennifer Garner telling us "There's no deeper want for a woman" than to be a mother; in September, we had Gwyneth Paltrow informing us that "everything you thought was an achievement really is nothing until you have a kid"; and now Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr offers: "Becoming a mother puts everything into perspective. You become more comfortable in your own skin."

Such a little thing makes such a big difference: If only she had said, instead, "Becoming a mother put everything into perspective for me. I became more comfortable in my own skin."

Because, of course, lots of women (though not all), in fact, do not feel more comfortable in their skin after giving birth, because of the ridiculous beauty standards dictated by the kyriarchy that devalues the permanent changes pregnancy/childbearing brings to many (though not all) female bodies.

The suggestion that any woman who struggles with body image after pregnancy axiomatically lacks "perspective" is both cruel and wrong on its own, but it's hilaritragically absurd given the context:

In the publication, Miranda poses naked, showing off her pert butt while lying on a bed and proves she has fully recovered her figure after giving birth.

Perfect. Shame body-conscious mothers for their angst while tacitly exhorting them to compare themselves to a carefully staged, lit, photographed, and airbrushed photo of your own perfectly posed naked body.

I don't hate the players; I hate the game. But, fuck, Miranda Kerr et. al.: I really wish you wouldn't play the game quite so goddamn hard.