This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

Snide, sassy Siri has plenty to say:

By now, early adopters of the iPhone 4S, which has sold more than 4 million units since debuting on Friday, have no doubt taken Siri for a spin.

The voice-activated "personal assistant" is a talkative tool that helps schedule appointments, send and receive messages and perform any number of other routine tasks.

But for iPhone owners presented with the sci-fi dream of a computer that talks back in a robotic female voice, the temptation to test the app's more random -- and existential -- sides has been pretty overwhelming, too.

I don't need to tell you where this is going, do I?

Because I am the Most Humorless Feminist in all of Nofunnington, I just don't get the same whimsical pleasure from reading about dudes asking their female-voiced phone assistant to make them a sandwich as others do. (How disappointing for them that Hillary won't run in 2016.) Nor do I enjoy the alleged hilarity of getting Siri to acquiesce: "You are my daddy."

At the Tumblr Shit That Siri Says, you can find more great exchanges like:

User Alie: "What's your favorite sex position?"

Siri: "Alie, you're not supposed to ask your assistant such things."

User Alie: "What's your favorite sex toy?"

Siri: "Perhaps there's something I can do for you?"

User Alie: "Sure, let's fuck."

Siri: "I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

There is, of course, more where that came from. And if reading about dudes sexually harassing their iPhones grows tiresome, please enjoy the delightful evidence that Siri was programmed with fat hatred. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[H/T to Shaker Katherine for the CafeMom article.]