It's Alive!

Hi, Shakers. As many of you know, I've been sick for almost a week now with some kind of stomach flu or food contamination-related garbage belly or possible intestinal demonic possession, during which time I've been sleeping approximately 18 hours a day and spending my meager waking hours out of my fucking head with dehydration-induced brain-bedlam.

At one point, while cradling my new BFF, Blue Bucket, I heard Dudley puking somewhere else in the house, and I imagined, briefly, that we were both dying and I needed to procure a Speak 'n' Spell that he might dismantle and use to contact his people.

Anyway! I managed to digest something other than a Saltine last night, for the first time in six days, and my fever finally broke, which has somewhat diminished the light-headed dizziness that's been keeping me off the computer. Until now, I've not even been able to read the news. So I'm going to try to get some work done today; I'll start with my email, which is an ungodly mess, and hopefully will get back to posting later in the day.

Twice already, I've thought I was on the mend, only to be viciously plunged back into the depths of whatever vengeful bug has gripped me, so this may turn out to be a premature rumor of my return. But I am hopeful! And hope springs eternal, unlike, one hopes, this goddamn persistent gutfuck.

I'm still getting an agonizing stomachache anytime I try to eat or drink anything, but I've nonetheless felt like I'm on an upswing ever since I was walking up the stairs to bed the other night and my pants fell down. "Oh the humanity!" I said, and tried to laugh, but burst into tears instead. Nadir, thy name is pantslessness.

My profound thanks to the contributors and mods for all their extra work while I was ill. My appreciation is truly boundless.