More on Hair

by Shaker GoldFishy

[Trigger warning for brief mention of surgical procedures.]

Hi all, Shaker Goldfishy here...

After I commented on Liss's post about my own recent change of hairstyle, and how it required me to overcome some internalized judgements of a different flavor, Liss invited me to open a thread for further discussion based on my experience.

I'm 40 years old, and my hair has been thinning quite noticeably in the last 5-10 years. I've always loved the look of very short hair on men, anyway, and, once it became clear that as time marched on, it was planning to take my hair with it, I wanted to closely cut my hair. (If you know about hair clippers, I've wanted the #1 setting, which is 1/8 inch.) My hair wasn't very long to begin with, but the texture of my hair and the thinning always left me feeling like it was a mess and not very flattering.

But I had one big hesitation: When I was much younger, I had a series of surgeries to remove a birthmark. The birthmark straddled my hairline on my forehead and was of a type that could eventually become malignant. When I was 13, doctors surgically removed the birthmark (then about 2.5 inches wide and 3.5 inches long) and replaced it with a skin graft from my leg. At age 18, I underwent a series of surgeries to "expand" (i.e., stretch) the skin and tissue around the graft so that it could be removed. A small amount of the skin graft remains at the top of my forehead and the final surgery left scars around the "crown" of my head. I was worried that if I cut my hair too short that I'd draw unwanted attention to them. The scarring includes a couple "bumps" that to my fingers feel HUGE but I think in appearance are all but invisible. I don't think I look awful, but I know that my scars are noticeable and I sometimes feel self-conscious about that.

My partner, The Captain, has been cutting his hair very short for a little while, and I loved it so much I felt more determined than ever to take the leap. So this fall, I finally took a chance and got a "#1 all around." I figured that the worst that could happen is I'd have to wear a hat for a few weeks while it grew back in.

Well, I LOVE it!!! A couple folks have commented on the scarring, but if people are noticing, most of them aren't indicating so.


Left, with Liss, before haircuts. Right, after haircut.
The Captain and I were in Chicago last week (while Liss was so terribly sick...talk about unfortunate timing!) and I felt so terrific with my new style. It just feels...right. (What you see in the photo is me with a couple weeks' growth...I'm due for another trim this weekend.)

Liss suggested--and I agree--that my little story might present an opportunity for other lines of discussion about how insecurities impact our hairstyle choices. I acknowledge that a great many factors affect one's choices (or lack thereof) about hairstyle, and I value that Shakesville provides a safe space to discuss topics that affect us personally.