So the Republicans Had a Debate Last Night

And it was garbage no doy. Anyway, it aired on one of the cable news networks, but I just can't remember which one:


[Click to embiggen.]
Oh well nevermind that. Wolf Blitzer was the moderator, and the subject was warmongering and exceptionalism National Security. If you're so inclined, you can read the full transcript here. My paraphrase of the evening's debate is below.

Blah blah debate national security. "It's a president's most important and daunting responsibility, to protect and defend the United States of America. Millions of lives in the hands of one commander-in-chief. It's what legacies are made of." Blah blah Reagan. "The National Anthem performed by Mauricio Perez, from the Tony Award winning musical, Jersey Boys," lulz. Blah blah we're all definitely straight and married. Blah blah terrorism. Blah blah Patriot Act. Blah blah Constitution. Blah blah war. "We are a nation of values." Blah blah targeted identification.

It is at this point in the debate that Herman Cain responds to a question posed to him by moderator Wolf Blitzer: "No, Blitz. That's oversimplifying it." LOL. He then babbles a bit more national security nonsense before correcting himself: "I'm sorry, Blitz, I meant Wolf, okay?" To which Wolf Blitzer replies, "Thank you, Cain." LOL. Oh my god.

Blah blah Al Qaeda. Blah blah Pakistan. "And I also think that Pakistan is a nation, that it's kind of like too nuclear to fail." Blah blah Afghanistan. Blah blah pull out. (That's what she said.) Blah blah Osama bin Laden. "You tell the Pakistanis, help us or get out of the way, but don't complain if we kill people you're not willing to go after on your territory where you have been protecting them." Blah blah radical Islam. Blah blah Iran. "We need a strategy of defeating and replacing the current Iranian regime with minimum use of force." Blah blah sanctions blah.

And more endless blah blah blah peppered with belligerent posturing from a bunch of aggressive defense hawks who are under the foolish impression that the United States is still a thriving empire, and of the ghastly opinion that the role of an empire is to put on big boots and stomp all over the world. The end.

[Previously in Debate-a-Thon 2012: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven.]