Primarily Awful

GOOD MORNING! Isn't is SO EXCITING that Mitt Romney's losing-to-Obama aspirations might be thwarted by Rick Santorum?! And by EXCITING, obviously I mean TERRIBLE! SO TERRIBLE!

The thing I most love about the possibility of Mitt Romney—who is a horrible garbage monster of a candidate that should never be allowed anywhere near the Oval Office but is by comparison to Rick Santorum an angel who is also a genius—losing the nomination to Santorum is the perfect, perfect bookend it will create (and, really, already has created) to the Democrats' concession on reproductive choice.

You see, in 2006, the Democrats decided that it was better to have ANYONE with a D after hir name in a House or Senate seat, even if that person was anti-choice. And so they ran Bob Casey, a man who was both anti-choice and a supporter of anti-choice SCOTUS justice Sam Alito, because they believed only an anti-choice candidate could beat Santorum. The Democratic leadership's support of the anti-choice Casey was vociferously protested by progressive feminists such as myself who predicted that demoting women's fundamental right to bodily autonomy to a negotiable platform plank would inevitably lead to an expectation of the Dems to concede ground on choice on the federal level.

We were dismissed as hysterics and trouble-makers who did not understand the way politics works.

It was aggressively 'splained to us that Casey would beat Santorum, and become a reliable Democratic ally to women despite being anti-choice, and Santorum would go away forever.

Bob Casey did beat Santorum. He went on to co-sponsor the Senate version of the anti-choice Stupak amendment. And Rick Santorum, of course, has a realistic shot at becoming the next President of the United States.

A nation which is more amenable to anti-choice rhetoric than it was even 6 years ago. Huh. I wonder how that happened.

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If being beaten by an anti-choice Democrat was the best thing that ever happened to Rick Santorum, running against Mitt Romney and his unique capacity to implode has to be second. This week in Imploding Romney News: Possibly breaking campaign laws, pissing off conservatives, and failing to seal the deal in Michigan.

Meanwhile, incredibly, Rick Santorum is finding increasing support among women. Or maybe it's not that incredible. The sort of conservative women who like the Santorums of the world are a breed I don't claim to understand. I have Republican female friends, and even they don't get it. They loathe Santorum.

BECAUSE HE IS TERRIBLE, NO DOI!

In other news, Newt Gingrich is still in the race, still being funded by some weirdo in Vegas, and still evidently believes he has a chance of winning the nomination. NO YOU DON'T, NEWT GINGRICH! I can't even see any of the remaining prestestants choosing him as a running mate. Maybe someone is paying him to waste Sheldon Adelson's money. Sheldon Adelson, you should CHECK INTO THAT!

Something something Ron Paul and squeezy handshakes. [Content Note: Various inappropriate language at link, which is a collection of Ron Paul supporters reaction to Rick Santorum shaking Ron Paul's hand very hard after the last debate.] Squeezy handshakers are THE WORST! So I am not surprised that Rick Santorum, who is also THE WORST, is a squeezy handshaker.

I am bitterly amused, however, that Ron Paul supporters are OUTRAGED at the harm of a squeezy handshake, but definitely support institutional racism and federal ownership of bodies with uteri. COOL! So cool your stupid inconsistent ethics!

Finally, some bozo at the Daily Mail (to which I'm not linking because barf) thinks Romney and Ron Paul may have already struck a deal for Paul to be Romney's running mate if he wins the nomination. GO TEAM RO-RO!

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.