Primarily Gross

[Content Note: Animal cruelty.] Mitt Romney is having a BAD WEEK! Not only is he losing his national lead to Rick Santorum (and I'll come back to THAT mess in a moment), but the horrendo story about Romney strapping the family dog in his kennel to the top of their car to drive from Boston to Canada for a family vacation is back in the news. The dog shit all over itself, yet Mitt Romney insists the dog "enjoyed himself. ... It was where he was comfortable." Sure.

This is how he treats his beloved family pet, folks.

Dogs Against Romney will be highlighting this void of decency at the Westminster Dog Show today at noon. Heh heh heh. Go get 'm, pooches.

In other awesome Romney news, he thinks mandatory drug testing for welfare recipients is "an excellent idea." Sure it is. It's an implicitly racist and classist proposal which seeks to punish the people who need a social safety net the most and foolishly imagines that shame is an effective disincentive. Sounds like "an excellent idea" by Republican standards, all right.

Hey! If you're wondering why it is that the Republican Establishment likes Mitt Romney, and you haven't yet figured out it's because he is a vacant suit with no integrity, no principles, and no shame, who will do ANYTHING to get elected and stay in office, here is the charming Grover Norquist to make the case for Romney:

All we have to do is replace Obama. ... We are not auditioning for fearless leader. We don't need a president to tell us in what direction to go. We know what direction to go. We want the Ryan budget. ... We just need a president to sign this stuff. We don't need someone to think it up or design it. The leadership now for the modern conservative movement for the next 20 years will be coming out of the House and the Senate.

...Pick a Republican with enough working digits to handle a pen to become president of the United States. This is a change for Republicans: the House and Senate doing the work with the president signing bills. His job is to be captain of the team, to sign the legislation that has already been prepared.

Basically, if the Republican Establishment could install a robot in the Oval Office, they would. But they can't. So the next closest thing is Mitt Romney, who will at least allow himself to be programmed and not muck up the works with any independent thought or autonomous impulses. GOOD LUCK, MITT ROMNEY! THAT SOUNDS GREAT!

Which brings me back to the aforementioned mess: Rick Santorum is now the leading GOP candidate nationally. Whoooooooops, Republican Establishment! That would be funny if it weren't, almost inconceivably, an even bigger whoooooooops for us!

Speaking of which, here is an AWESOME Rick Santorum quote, which everyone has been sending me (thanks, everyone!), although I first saw it yesterday care of @nelsonpants:

This whole idea of personal autonomy, well I don't think most conservatives hold that point of view. Some do. They have this idea that people should be left alone, be able to do whatever they want to do, government should keep our taxes down and keep our regulations low, that we shouldn't get involved in the bedroom, we shouldn't get involved in cultural issues. You know, people should do whatever they want. Well, that is not how traditional conservatives view the world and I think most conservatives understand that individuals can't go it alone. That there is no such society that I am aware of, where we've had radical individualism and that it succeeds as a culture.

Yiiiiiiiiiiiiikes. Ha ha nervous laughter ha ha. That is very creepy! You are so gross, Rick Santorum! And you do not know what freedom means!


No—no, Ron Paul, that is not correct. Please have a seat.

In other Santorum news, protestors interrupted a Santorum campaign event yesterday, to which Santorum responded by saying, "I think it's really important for you to understand what this, what this radical element represents, because what they represent is true intolerance," after having the protestors hauled out by police.

FREEDOM FOR EVERYONE!!!

Rick Perry Newt Gingrich is definitely still in the race! He has not dropped out yet! True Fact! See—here he is campaigning and everything!


Inexplicable, but true!

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.