Film Corner!

There's a great new teen romp about the awesomest teen party evarrrrrrr coming soon to teen theaters near you—and it was produced by Todd "The Hangover" Phillips, so YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE SO TERRIFIC! The trailer is below.

Ferris Bueller is a flyboy! "Remember, guys—it's not just a job; it's an adventure!" He's like Maverick from Top Gun, only with less homoerotic tension with Val Kilmer. He's still a totes rebel, though! Sunglasses. Stealing a plane with Helen Hunt. Open bottle of champagne in the cockpot. (Typo, but I'm leaving it!) The point is, this guy is a maverick. Not to be confused, of course, with Maverick from Top Gun. Or John McCain.

Ferris Bueller has a pompadour and wears a Hawaiian shirt. Hey, remember the 80s?! He joined the Air Force to learn about leadership, run football betting pools (WE CALL THEM FANTASY FUSSBALLS NOW, THIS MOVIE FROM 2012!), and get asked out on dates by Helen Hunt. Hotsy totsy! Also: He would get to work on "space-age technology." See: Tron.

"But he never thought he'd meet anyone like Virgil!" says the voiceover man. Ha ha Virgil is a chimp! Hi, Virgil! Virgil and Ferris Bueller hug each other. They are becoming friends. Awwww. Helen Hunt is working with Virgil, too! Hubba hubba. But she is teaching Virgil how to be a hippie, and Ferris Bueller is teaching him how to use a simulator so he can dump nukes on the Russkies.

Ferris Bueller doesn't know that, though! Oh no! But Virgil knows! Virgil signs: "Get me the fuck out of here!" Ferris Bueller urgently calls Helen Hunt, who is asleep on the set of Moonlighting. Top secret project! Treason! "Let's get the hell out of here!" Run! Everyone run! Don't let the monkeys blow up the planet or whatever!

This movie looks really good! I can't wait to see it!

Voiceover: "From the creators of War Games. Matthew Broderick. Project X.

Whooooooooooooooooooooooops!

That was a long way to go for a shitty joke that is probably only meaningful to people my age, lol. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT, GENERATION X!

(The real trailer is here, if you give a shit.)