Today is Primary Day in Hawaii, Alabama, and Mississippi—or, as Republicans think of it, Primary Day in Alabama and Mississippi—so Mitt Romney, aka Mr. South, is bringing out the BIG GUNS, i.e. Jeff Foxworthy, i.e. another famous rich privileged dude whose job it is to convince poor white bigots that he is JUST LIKE THEM so they should definitely like him and, more importantly, GIVE HIM MONEY.
All of Mitt Romney's losing to Barack Obama aspirations rest on winning Alabama and Mississippi, which is the only way he can definitively prove that being a wealthy Yankee Mormon corporate raider is no impediment to appealing to impoverished, protestant, Southern white straight men who are looking for scapegoats on whom to blame the undelivered promises of a kyriarchy that assured them American Dominion was their birthright.
It's pretty AMAZING that Mitt Romney, who is a TERRIBLE campaigner and would make a DISASTROUS president but is truly a PERFECT flesh-and-blood symbol of everything that should rightly be held accountable for the ruination of the working and middle classes and for turning "the American Dream" into a punchline, is now inches away from becoming the Republican nominee, thus inviting poor white Southerners to vote more explicitly than ever before for an emblem of their own destruction. NEAT! What a neat party the Republicans are!
I hope in the next election, the Republican ticket is just a tattered safety net and a holographic bootstrap.
The Goat|Paperclip ticket is going to have a run for its money!
ANYWAY! Back to the 2012 election... Did you know that Rick Santorum won the Kansas caucuses on Saturday? Well he did! BY A LOT! He is very popular in Kansas with Republican primary voters! Whooooooops Kansas! Your Republican primary voters are very fond of Rick Santorum! Yuck!
In good news, Mitch Daniels is not your governor! So there's that.
What else? Blah blah Romney needs to seal the deal in Dixie. (Everything about that sentence is gross.) But Newt Gingrich might steal the deal! Oh noes! That would be so sad for Mitt Romney, but obviously SO GREAT FOR US since it would make this interminable primary EVEN LONGER!!!
Rick Santorum understands basic math. Mitt Romney is unpopular and also a liar. Newt Gingrich is still a human being running for president in the USA. And something something Ron Paul.
Also! President Obama's approval rating is falling. But he's also recapturing demographic groups won by the GOP in the 2010 midterm election. WHICH IS IT? Who cares. If Obama wanted to win in a landslide, he should have tried governing in a way that wildly distinguished him from the other party. OH WELL TOO LATE NOW!
Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.
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